Day 2

This morning I awoke again to the chirping of my cell phone receiving a text.  I jumped up and immediately squinted at the clock.  I was in full panic mode.  Had I overslept again?  Was the Ball Buster already in my driveway as she had been on several occasions before?  That really ticked her off by the way.  No it was only six thirty, I wasn't supposed to be ready until 7.  I put on my glasses and read the text.  All of a sudden I heard Angels singing.  Aretha Franklin's voice was booming loudly in my ear "Freedom, Freedom, Freedom , FREEEEDDDDOOOOMMM".  It was like the sky to heaven had opened and gave me a beautiful glimpse at the pearly gates.  The text read " I have to leave to go to Ft. Lauderdale unexpectedly to help my brother."  Here's the best part "WE CAN'T WORK OUT TODAY"!!!!  I was ecstatic!  Happy does not describe it!
 My jubilation quickly ended with the thought that I had to respond to her text.  If I didn't text fast enough she would call and hear the joy in my voice.  She would surely take it out on me tomorrow. If I sounded too upset about it she would have me do something on my own today.  Think Think Think.  My plan was brilliant.  I texted her back one letter that said "K".  No emotion tied to it.  No bias one way or the other and I had an entire day of freedom ahead of me.
Now I know what most of you are thinking.... I'm only cheating myself....yeah, yeah, yeah--- blah, blah, blah.  But apparently you all are not understanding the depths of my hatred for working out.  I have been going with the Ball Buster for over a month and a half and there has not been one minuscule moment in any way shape or form where I have enjoyed it.  Everyone keeps telling me that I will grow to love it.  That I will feel something will be missing when I don't do it.  That I will literally crave the feeling I get from working out.  I am here to tell you......That Will Never Happen!  I hate it.  I loathe it.  I literally wish it was a human being so that I could wish death upon it. 
Why even bother then?  Well it is all for the glory of standing next to my beautiful sister in her wedding gown knowing that I am not a huge miserable whale.  It doesn't mean I have to enjoy it.  It just means I have to do it.  And as much as I hate the Ball Buster and her evil smirk when I get into the car..... I know I need her.  I need her like a fat kid needs cake and without her I go back to my horrible, sad,  pathetic,- no will power fat  lazy self. 
Tomorrow when she comes to pick me up, I may not manage to smile but at least I will try not to throw imaginary daggers at her forehead when I look over at her on the treadmill. I will try and do my best.
Till Tomorrow!
Teresa

Almost got away with it!

Last night I had company come into town.  I cooked a nice dinner, took the girls around Ocala and got them ice cream from Sonic.  When we got home we went swimming until late.  I knew I needed to call the Ball Buster and tell her I could not go to the gym in the morning.  I "accidentally" forgot.  All night long I had nightmares.  There she was chasing me and trying to kill me.  I tossed and turned and got a terrible nights sleep.  I awoke to the familiar chime of a text message on my cell phone.  I was frozen in fear.  I knew it was her.  I knew she would be on her way to get me.  I got the courage up and texted her my excuse.  I knew faking sick wouldn't work...I had already tried that one before and she made me go anyway... so I had to tell the truth.  I sent the message and waited for what seemed like hours to get her response.  It was simple, clear and to the point..... "what time are they leaving?" I texted her back and told her I wasn't sure.  Again hours and then her response " we will go when they leave".  I felt my stomach flip.  There was no way she was letting me out of this today.  I was doomed.  So now at three I am heading to the gym with ball Buster and I bet she will punish me all the more for trying to get out of it in the first place. If i should die and this is my last correspondence....please know I love you all.  Eat pasta at my funeral and have a Cherry Coke fountain for me.  Till tomorrow
Teresa

Day 1

At the urging of my trainer, I am starting a blog.  She thinks it will help assist me in my weight loss goals.  I think she is the DEVIL.  For the remainders of these blogs I will refer to her as "Major Mary the Ball Buster Box", "Ball Buster", "Evil" or "Beelzebub". 
Many of you who are reading this may know that my amazingly sweet sister is getting married October 9th.  I am her Matron of Honor and required to wear one of those hideously horrifying Bridesmaid gowns.  The gown of course will be sleeveless because apparently if you are in the wedding party the only way to ensure that you will not out shine the bride is to wear a dress that shows off your huge "lunch lady arms.  I searched and searched but to no avail and could not find a gown on this planet with sleeves.  With that in mind and with pressure from my sister I decided (but was really being forced) to try and lose the extra million pounds that I carry along with me on a daily basis. 
At first I gave up sodas.  If you know me well, you know that one of my biggest vices is CHERRY COKE.  I nearly killed myself going cold turkey but I  kept that hideous dress in the back of my mind and went nearly two months without a soda.  When not one single pound was shed I thought to myself FTS.  If you don't know what that stands for fill in whatever explicative you would like.  You can figure out what I mean but I am drinking a coke as I write this.
The next obvious step was to start exercising.  This was a huge mistake on my part because my mouth started working before my brain actually processed the entire idea.  I asked my friend "Ball Buster" if I could start going to the gym with her.  I explained my situation to her and she agreed.  Little did I know she was going to take this so seriously.  It has now become her life's mission to help me lose weight.  Well she has her work cut out for her because what i am finding out about myself in this process is that I am horribly lazy and incapable of making good food choices. 
I will try my best and I hope that you will all read my blog....leave me comments......and pray for my soul... especially when you start reading some of the horrible things I am thinking in my head.   Lord knows I am going to need all the help  can get and i am counting on my friends to give it.
Till Tomorrow
Teresa